Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Wal-Mart

I hate Wal-Mart. And before you start yelling, "Don't be a hater!" in your best Mexican accent, please realize that I hate Wal-Mart for personal reasons. Because I'm selfish. And if you know what I do for a living, you will begin to sympathize with my selfishness.
I don't hate Wal-Mart because they run all the "Mom & Pop's" stores out of business, and I don't hate Wal-Mart because of the way they treat their employees, or because I can't get out of there without spending less than $100, or blah blah blah blah blah. I hate Wal-Mart because I HAVE to go there. And I don't like to have to go there.
I live in a small town, and it is inevitable that every time I go there, I WILL run into someone I would rather not run into.
I only go to Wal-Mart if I ABSOLUTELY have to! For instance, they sell my favorite tortillas... that have saved my marriage! (Tortilla Land uncooked flour tortillas - if you haven't tried them, you should. They saved a poor gringa like me from utter destruction in a world where, apparently every Mexican wife should know how to make homemade tortillas... Just like Wela's!) Not only does Wal-Mart sells these bad boys, but they sell them in an 18 pack for the same price as the 12 pack at other competitor's stores. I have no choice but to have to go there.
OK, so that's really the only reason why I would HAVE to go to Wal-Mart. We need tortillas? Crap, I guess I have to go to Wal-Mart. The following reasons come in a close 2nd after the tortillas: I can buy a shload of dog food for $10 bucks. Enough said. Oh, and I can buy a bottle of the generic Zantac for $4 bucks. Ah crap, and sometimes, in my weaken state, I will answer the nurse with, "Wal-Mart," when she asks, "What pharmacy should I call this prescription into for you?" I always, ALWAYS regret that one! Why can't I ever think straight during a doctor visit with a sick, whiny child???!!!
I went to Wal-Mart on Saturday night around 6:00 so that I could be a good Mormon wife/mother and use Saturday as my "Special day... the day we get ready for Sunday!" And I immediately regretted it. Don't get me wrong, I ran into some people that I like, My cousin's husband & their 2 oldest "kids," for example. (However, when I walked away from them, I realized how old I really am because I used to babysit those 2 when I was in college, and now THEY are old enough to be too old and too cool to babysit anymore).
And then I ran into it Brother "R" who is always smiling. (Who smiles that much?!) The same Brother "R" who I ran into in a different grocery store 3 days ago. And he asks, "Have you seen my wife?" And this is my train of thought... Ha ha, sucker, that is the very reason I came by myself without the hubby & kids this evening... but you work at the jail right??? And you'rein the bishopric? Keep this guy on your good side, Amber, keep this guy on your good side. Oh man, his wife looks just like Sister "H," so if I have seen her, would I even be able to make a positive identification??? So I answer with the truth, "Sorry, I haven't. When I'm in this store, I really try not to look up at anyone. Otherwise I run into people who don't want to see me. I try to get in and out, unnoticed." He laughed because he does know what I do for a living, and I think he sympathized momentarily. He walked away, and I walked toward the pet section for the fantastic dog food, and then I momentarily made eye contact with a friendly, familiar face, and smiled. Then continued walking... then realized that was Sister "R."
Throughout the course of the shopping spree, I "saw" three individuals who would probably rather not have seen me, but I just kept walking anyway. And it was a nice breath of fresh air to look up and see Uncle Al & Aunt Kathy behind me in the check-out line. Ah... there ARE good people in this town!

DISCLAIMER: I love my small town & I live here on purpose. Just because some situations can be a little awkward for me at times, does not mean that I hate this town. I will buy my favorite tortillas if it kills me! Oh yeah, and I love my job, too!

2 comments:

Amanda said...

Too hilarious! I haven't read ANY blogs for about 2 months (literally), and tonight I get on, and you've posted...and good things about my parents too! You had me laughing out loud...love yer bunz. Sorry walmart isn't the most fun...it's not for me either, but i don't really mind running into people here! :)

Unknown said...

Very funny little sister. And hardly any gramatical and/or spelling errors.